hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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