Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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