Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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