im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
