fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
