how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
