He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
