Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
