You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
