either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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