As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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