You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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