Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
