I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
