Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
