I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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