Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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