fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
