My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
