you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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