I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize