A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im having a threesome with these popsicles
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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