Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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