so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
