If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
