is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
