i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize