Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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