He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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