that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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