I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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