areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
