hotel room ftw
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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