Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
