yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
