Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize