Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think i have two assholes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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