is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
