Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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