you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
