sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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