But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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