dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
