Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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