I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
wow bdsm is so cute
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
