fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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