i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
