absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
