shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
