It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
