I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
