it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
