I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
