I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
