i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
