as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
