Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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