What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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