Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
