This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
