just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
did i just pee glitter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
