when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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