He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Even my vagina gasped.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When are your genitals available?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize