11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my sisters under your porch take her home
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
