My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
