I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
