I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
