im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i think i have two assholes
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
