then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
