Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
