oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
