goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
