I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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