You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
