i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Randomize
