20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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