Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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