I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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