sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize