Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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