You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
