it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
