is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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