Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
